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Movie reviews in 34.6 words or less...

Name	Review	Rating	Buy It
Casino Royale	Daniel Craig plays a raw James Bond earning his rank. Perfect reboot for the aging franchise. Spot on.
A Scanner Darkly	Visually stunning and wonderfully acted adaptation of the Phillip K. Dick novel. All of the leads get their performances captured through discomforting animation. Guaranteed future cult movie.
Eragon	Absolutely horrible movie translation of a decent series of kid books about a boy and his dragon. Much of the blame lies with the script as the visuals are well done.
V for Vendetta	Visually powerful and very close to the feel of the comic. Natalie Portman does a great job as the conflicted ally of a terrorist. While not perfect, a must see for sci-fi fans.
Team America: World Police	The South Park team rip both the right and the left in this great parody of Bruckheimer films starring marionettes. Definately not for the kiddies. Pay close attention to the fantastic sets.
The Chronicles of Riddick	While not as good as the first Riddick movie (Pitch Black), the director's cut of this movie is highly enjoyable. Feels a lot like a modern gothic version of Conan.
Blade: Trinity	Back to the roots of the superhero, the third installment of the Blade franchise succeeds where the second movie failed. Some great vampire action. A few too many wisecracks from Ryan Reynolds.
The Incredibles	On the surface, the Incredibles is a fun satire of superheros, spy movies and family dynamics. Below, it's a richly layered study of mid 20th-Century politics, architecture and urbanism that demands repeat viewing. Reviewer: The Crimson Horse
Evolution	Although a blatant rip-off of his own Ghostbusters, Ivan Reitman's "Evolution" has some very funny moments, despite being mostly sucktastic. Reviewer: The Crimson Horse

Name	Review	Rating	Buy It
Catch Me If You Can	Leonardo DiCaprio is a gas as a jetset check forger in this fun Rat Pack era caper, despite the idiocy of building model planes just to remove the decals. Reviewer: The Crimson Horse
The Boondock Saints	The McManus Brothers' accidental killing of some Russian Mafia soldiers leads to a bad-guy-killing rampage with religious intent (oooooh!). Willem Dafoe shines as a flaming yet homophobic gay FBI agent. Reviewer: Günter
Ronin	Possibly the best car chases of any movie (even Blues Brothers). Wine-swilling French arms dealers crash souped-up Audis and kill Irishmen, as Robert De Niro and Jean Reno try to track down a mysterious s... Reviewer: Günter
Brotherhood of the Wolf (Le Pacte des Loups)	Beautifully choreographed martial arts in this French movie about the mythical Beast of Gevaudan. Despite being about a dashing French Chevalier, this is not a chick flick - gore abounds. Reviewer: Günter
Battlestar Galactica (2003 Miniseries)	The original Battlestar Galactica is crappy even by nostalgia standards, so the new one could only be better. Luckily it's extraordinarily better, taking the original’s premise and delivering a dynamic and tightly produced “re-imagining”. Reviewer: The Crimson Horse
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow	The visuals are sumptuous, the score appropriate but forgettable. The screenplay is witty and surprisingly well crafted. Those who want to hate SCATWOT probably will; enjoying it requires an attitude-free mindset. I found SCATWOT wonder-. Reviewer: The Crimson Horse
Star Wars Trilogy on DVD	Neutralize all thoughts about the prequels, look past the cgi wank-fest, and these three movies will always please. Oh, and Ewoks don't suck nearly as much as you want them to. Reviewer: The Crimson Horse
Big Trouble in Little China	Kurt Russell kicks ass and Kim Catrall is a lousy actress. The lighting bolt effects piss all over Return of the Jedi. BTLC is a great movie, lots of fun, and anyone who doesn't get the satire is a tard. Reviewer: The Crimson Horse
Fear and Loathing in Las vegas	It's entirely possible that this movie is the most unwatchable pos I have ever tried to watch. I love Terry Gilliam, Johnny Depp... but I would give this a zero if I could.
Ghost in the Shell	Groundbreaking anime that raised the bar for adult sci-fi animation combining traditional and computer art. If you like adult swim on the Cartoon Network, you'll like it.
Fight Club	Brilliantly written, acted and directed . I have to say I avoided this movie for too long because it looked like a stupid macho action movie. It isn't. It's a must see psychological thriller.
Paycheck	Based on a short story by Philip K. Dick, directed by John Woo, starring Uma Thurman and Ben Affleck - what could be wrong ?...The screenplay. Good movie that should have been better.
Hellboy	Brilliantly done adaptation of the underground comic book. I'll admit, I've never liked Ron Perelman before - but he fits and plays the hell-born demon to a 'T'.
Tomorrow Never Dies	Pierce Brosnan is a great Bond. Unfortunately, Jonathan Pryce (who I've liked in his other works) is absolutely horrible as the crazed media mogul bad guy.
Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation	Horrible sequel that misses all the style that made the first movie, directed by Paul Verhoeven, so much fun.
The Bourne Identity	Matt Damon as a stealth government killer. Very very well done - much to my surprise.
Dark City	Film Noir/German Expressionist style sci-fi movie with a great storyline that I don't want to divulge. Highly recommend.
Highlander 4: Endgame	Wow - that was horrible. The tv episodes were better done than this. Christopher Lambert was good in the first Highlander - but Adrian Paul is the better actor. Poorly overdubbed audio everywhere.
The Triplets of Belleville	Expertly done french cartoon about a boy and his grandmother. Language doesn't matter as the images tell their story. Stunning artwork, great music. Too complex for the kiddies, very enjoyable.
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World	A seemingly authentic swashbuckler movie depicting the British/French naval battles in the early 1800's. Very believable and gory, it keeps your attention at all times. Incredible visuals.
The Last Samurai	This movie was much better than I expected. Ken Watanabe should get a best supporting actor award for his portrayal of Katsumoto. One complaint - Could have used a bit more editing - it was loooong.
Gattaca	A story about the dangers of genetic manipulation that is a bit too predictable. The movie is worth seeing for Jude Law's performance alone. Good example of how sci-fi needn't be all special effects.
The Hulk	This movie was killed by most reviewers but I liked it. Probably too complex and dark for the kiddies, Ang Lee does a good job of humanizing the comic book legend.
Gangs of New York	Great book that I knew would be difficult to turn into a movie. I actually think Scorsese cleaned up reality too much. Very hard to listen to Daniel Day-Lewis' accent without cringing.
Lost in La Mancha	Sad/funny documentary of Terry Gilliam's attempt to make a modern day Don Quixote movie. You root for him while everything goes wrong, knowing failure awaits. We can only hope he makes it... someday.
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life	This movie was ... horrible. Angelina Jolie is a perfect Lara Croft, but the script was terrible. Whomever thought of giving Lara a boyfriend should be smacked with a wet noodle.
Donnie Darko	Great thriller/horror/sci-fi movie. Jake Gyllenhaal is great as a hallucinating teen that will leave you much to think about after you watch this movie.
The Matrix: Revolutions	The end of the Matrix trilogy wasn't as good as it should have been, but not as bad as everyone else said. Matrix fans need to see it for completion. The Animatrix was better.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl	Who would have thought that a movie based on the horrible Disney™ ride would be this good? The person who cast Depp deserves most of the credit - his performance is what makes this movie.
Kill Bill, Vol. 1	If you like Tarantino, you'll love this movie. The look, feel and sound of this movie is mesmerizing. I wished it was one volume so I didn't have to wait for Vol. 2.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines	Not nearly good as Terminator 2. Decent B movie, but that's it.

Editor's Notes:
If it isn't obvious, 1 is worst, 2 is eh, 3 is good, 4 is great, 5 is a 'must see'.
All movies reviewed by me except where noted from guest reviewers.
Reviews are added as I have the time. Last updated: July, 2007
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